My Hair Bible

MY HAIR BIBLE (PART 1)

Aaaaaaah! Wash & Detangle Days!

I was really not sure how to start these blogs (which will be in parts cuz I write A LOT) until I remembered what frustrated me the most last year. Then I realized what frustrates a lot of women of color and their mothers form the time they are children. Wash and detangle days.

You ask the average black woman why they don't wash their hair more frequently and their answer usually is, "I don't have that kind of time". If you really want to see something ask them why they don't try to wash their child's hair 2x a week. You'll get a look that is a mixture of shock, and "are you crazy?"

Ask them why and they will say one of 2 things, 1) It's too much work. 2) It will dry their hair out. The sad reality is a) most shampoos were not PH balanced for our hair type so they learned from way back they couldn't and b) Even though there are more options, they don't know how because they never learned the proper technique. They don't know how with their own hair because more than likely their mother didn't know how either.

I raise my hand and plead guilty as charged. I came from a family of every 1-3 month shampooers. I also came from a family of add hair grease to bone dry hair and comb. Then either press n' curl or leave it in a braid(s) for a month(s).

I was shocked when I realized my grandmother pours shampoo out of the bottle on dry matted, and tangled hair, piles it all on top of her head, mushes it all around, then wets her hair. She's convinced it gets the mat out and that it accurately cleans her hair. It doesn't. She ends up sitting and ripping at it for 2 hours straight (Note: I've since taken over doing her hair cuz I can't bare to see it).

But it was an eye opener. My grandmother was mostly raised by her grandmother. Which means if her grandmother taught her that is how you wash hair then that is 4 generations doing it WRONG!

My hair strands are finer than most of my family members so they suffered with that sort of treatment. My scalp was very itchy and always flaked. I was told everyone in my family is like that and when it went away they thinned or bald :O

I did some research and found out how dirt clogging pores in the scalp for long periods of time may lead to hair loss. Though not 100% conclusive I did not want to take a chance.

I was not willing to wait for my dandruff to go away and see if my hair falls out.

In 2009 I discovered Cathy Howse. While I didn't agree with everything she's written, I gave her the benefit of the doubt. When her first book was released barely anyone was writing about black hair care. Before that the way of the land was Madame C.J. Walker's (whom I'm proud to share the same last name with, LOL) taught routine of wash every 2 weeks.

Cathy said something I'd never heard before, from anyone, ever. Wash twice a week. I thought, was she crazy? Black folks don't do that. No one had ever said that. But I was so over my scalp that at this point I was willing to try ANYTHING. So I did it for 2 weeks. 

To my surprise, after all the medication for scalp I had purchased did nothing, suddenly I was flake free. Suddenly for the first time ever in my life that I could think of my scalp didn't itch o_o And I didn't loose my hair :o)

Fast forward to 2010. My second picture above (left hand side) is when I chopped my hair off one last time due to breakage. And one half of my nape broke off in 1 inch with, & 1 inch high. I had neglected my hair once again. I was beyond through. At this point I was willing to do anything to get back on track.

On another hair site I joined a 6 month stretching group. I am always up for a challenge but I had NO idea how big a challenge it would be. Four months into my challenge I was ready to loose it. I was mentally at my wits end but I don't like giving up.

I just sat down and thought to myself, how can it be so hard to understand and care for something God given that grows out of your scalp. Then I reminisced over family history, and black people as a whole having to straighten the hair various ways in oder to do it.

But it still left the question of why something as simple as cleanliness, washing of ones own hair is such a chore. I figured out that my hair and scalp needed it, but I was still doing it wrong.

Now I'm not a deeply religious person but my mind would not allow me to believe that God would give us more than we can handle. I was determined to learn the proper, and yes, simple way to hair care for African textured hair.  But I had to start with the very thing that made most of us cringe as children. Washing and combing.

Crossed Referenced My Sources!

Years ago I read a book by Oprah's hair stylist which stated that most hair companies water down conditioner and sell it as a leave-in. Little did I know that the thought would enter my mind years later.

One day surfing the net I came across an old Long Hair Care Forum post that someone reposted about a girl that went from SL to almost WL in a year. She spoke mostly about wearing it in a bun for a year, and that is what most of the ladies were commenting on.

The other thing they wanted was to know the conditioner she used. She made reference to the fact that she used the conditioner from her relaxer as a leave-in so they wanted THAT conditioner. They missed the point, as did I at first until a later date. 

Again I was surfing the net when I came across a post where a woman (can't remember her name. So sorry. Think she was a member at KISS) wrote that a black lady she had run into with TBL relaxed hair swore her secret to such long hair was washing it everyday, adding conditioner, and leaving it in until the next day. Was I beginning to see a pattern? 

Then I came across Teri LaFlesh's website tightlycurly.com The significance of this was I was also learning about co-washing at the same time (don't remember where I heard it first). As it would turn out she shampoo's then co-washes, then leaves the conditioner in her hair: http://www.tightlycurly.com/technique/curlyprimer/

So it was starting to come together. Leave conditioner in your hair???? Really? Why not! I had nothing to loose. I would be bunning the whole time anyway.

My only issue is that Teri's texture was looser than mine. Her strands are more rounded while mine is more ribbon shaped. So I needed something a little bit extra to pull this off. Something to lock it in. Oh yeah, hair oil!

I also noted that initially my new growth would need a thicker conditioner (that changed over time as my texture softened and loosened). Now at this point I was relaxed bone straight with 4 months of new growth. So I had to recognize that 2 different textures of hair need 2 different things.

I Got A Plan!

At this point in time I was also in the bun challenge so I was not trying to do braid-outs, or flat iron or anything. It was a hot, humid summer, and I didn't want to deal with new growth. I just wanted to smooth it down and pin it back.

I relaxed (and ended up texlaxing too) with Motions, so I purchased the BIG tub of conditioner. This was for my roots and only my roots.

Back then I was hard core about getting those bad boys to lay down and behave. The itchiness was crazy. They would get sooooo dry.

But here is the thing, I could not co-wash with this. Heck NO! And I knew it would be too heavy for my ends. So I went a different route. I purchased a bunch of bottles of VO5 conditioner.

I would co-wash with these and use then as a leave-in on my relaxed hair. I thought I was straight. My only problem was, my scalp didn't like co-washing. So what now? Well, it was simple. My scalp doesn't like it but my hair sure does. So then co-rinse!

Wet my hair, apply conditioner for 3 mins., and rinse. Still, I have to be gentle. How do I detangle this hair with the least amount of damage???

The Not So Secret Detangle Secret!

Now I started out by talking about why people feel they need lots of time on wash days. To me it wasn't the actually act of washing that is the chore. It is the act of detangling and drying that is the pain. I've narrowed the issue down to these main factors that cause the problem.

• Not Doing Hair In Sections: The days of me doing my hair while it is all loose is long gone. Doing hair in sections is the rule. 2-4 sections keeps hair I'm not working on yet out of my way. This is an underrated but necessary step.

• Washing Loose Hair: A textured haired lady like myself can get into trouble doing this. Be it new growth or texlaxed. Those strands can wrap around each other when I scrub my scalp. When I try to pull them apart they tighten into a knot. Then I go to comb the knot out and that breaks the hair strand leaving me with uneven, or thinned out looking hair.

• Combing Out Hair With No Slip: It doesn't matter if the hair is dripping wet or bone dry, that hair is going to break without anything to smooth the cuticle and form a barrier between it and the comb. My hair is best combed when slightly damp but even then I could cause breakage without that slip.

• Air Drying Loose Hair: Not a fan of this at all especially as the hair gets longer. This is cool for a TWA but boy can this be trouble after it hits your jaw. When I say set most people think rollers. That is one kind of set but there are others like the 2 strand twist, a loose braid, even banding if done gently. The longer that my hair gets the more my coils wrap around themselves as they shrink. Even my relaxed hair would turn out worse if I air dried it loose. And now that I'm lightly texlaxed with 6 months of new growth, forget it.

• Not Letting H20 Aide Them: My first comb out can be my easiest on wash days if I just used what is right in front of me. Running water! Where was my mind that I didn't realize my hair combs out the easiest under running water???

Now Execute The Game Plan!

So I went over co-washing vs co-rinsing, a clean scalp, conditioner as a leave-in, and finally how to detangle. What is the game plan man? For the past year I had 2. One plan for co-rinsing days, and one plan for shampoo days.

Shampoo Day Plan:

• Put hair in 4 - 6 braids.

• Shampoo just my roots. Let the water rinse the shampoo down my ends.

• One at a time undo braid and apply conditioner or deep conditioner (sometimes I may not even undo the braid) and pin it up.

• As the conditioner rinses out under running water I comb my hair out, or brush it out with my fake denman brush. I start at the ends and work my way up.

• While still under running water I ponytail a section and 2 strand twist it. I repeat until I get 2 - 4 two strand twists.

• I gently squeeze the excess water out of my twists and apply a dime size amount ofconditioner to each one and my edges.

• Put satin scarf on wet  wedges and allow to air dry 75%

• Remove scarf. 

• Working with the sections, one by one take out the twists, apply conditioner from root to tip. Comb out hair. Seal with oil. 

• Style as usual (mostly two strand twisted buns with bulk of hair pinned over my ends).

Co-Rinse Day Plan:

• Pin hair up in 2-4 buns

• (one at a time) Take down one bun and rinse with pure water.

• (one at a time) Apply conditioner

• (one at a time) Pin up gently

• Leave conditioner in 3 mins.

• (one at a time) Take down and rinse. As the water runs through the haircomb/brush it out starting at the ends.

• (one at a time) Massage the scalp with the comb/brush for a minute.

• (one at a time) Ponytail and 2 strand twist.

• Gently Squeeze out excess water.

• Apply a dime size amount of conditioner to each twist, and the edges.

• Put satin scarf on wet edges and allow to air dry 75%

• Remove scarf. 

• Working with the sections, one by one take out the twists, apply conditioner from root to tip. Comb out hair. Seal with oil. 

• Style as usual (mostly 2 strand twisted buns with bulk of hair pinned over my ends).

This summer my scalp has sweat so much I added 2 -3 more co-rinses to my week. To my surprise my ends are super soft and thick. Also I have noted that I no longer needMotions anymore for my new growth. Simple Aussie Moist does the trick because the more I have co-rinsed the softer my hair has become.

(Edited to add)

As for using conditioner as a leave-in, I am 100% a believer! Something about it created a barrier from the elements while preventing moisture loss. The minute I started was the minute my hair stopped breaking off at the ends, and I started retaining length.

To this day even if I plan to roller set or flat iron I still apply just a tiny bit to my wet hair and allow to dry. However, forgetting to clarify it from my hair before a relaxer caused me to become texlaxed. But you know what? I love it! But that is for another blog :o)